Confused

Di ba pag inlove, masaya. Palagi kang nakangiti. Blooming. Inspired. Kinikilig.

Ganyan ako nang mga nakaraang araw. Pero ngayon, I am confused. Confused as Confucius. Ma-rhyme lang.

Something almost happened the last weekend. He almost kissed me. Almost, kasi hindi ako pumayag. Pero don't get me wrong. Gusto ko. Gash. Gustong-gusto ko kaya! It's been a while since the last time I was kissed by someone. I missed it to bad that I wanted it to much. Hindi ako pumayag dahil hindi ko gusto yung location namin. Sa office at nakafocus pa yata sa amin ang security cam. Kaya I declined the tempting offer.

That is an indication na pwede na maging kami. Gusto niya ako. Gash, matagal ko na siyang gusto, ang dami ko na ngang pinakita na motibo, di ba? But why is he not sealing the deal? Why he won't take me out on a date? Why he wouldn't ask me to be his girl? Nacheck na niya ang phone ko. I said that I am not two-timing him. Ano pa? Bakit I am just left hanging?

As much as I want him physically, hindi kaya maging tulad lang nito yung last relationship that I had? We only defined the relationship when we had intimacy, pero ano pa rin ang nangyari? So, papaano na ito? Kelangan bang magpahalik ako bago ko tanungin kung ano ba kami or should I never ask para naman tumagal kami sa ganitong status? I am so confused right now, I need a break.